Brady Jeopardy!
by Jemascola
Summary: After Alex Trebek's Brain Bus has a flat tire in front of the Brady house, he selects the Bradys as contestants of Jeopardy!
1. Coincidence

Brady _Jeopardy!_

A/N: This is loosely based on Celebrity Jeopardy, but I don't intend to copy every gag that Saturday Night Live had, as I don't want to get in trouble, and also, it would be boring to read the same, exact gags that Saturday Night Live used. I have spiced it up a bit more. There is also a reference in this story to an older version of _Jeopardy!_, which was hosted by Art Fleming from 1964 – 1975. Also, there is a reference to _The Wizard of Odds_, which Alex Trebek hosted from 1973 – 1974. I do not own _Jeopardy!_, _Saturday Night Live_, _The Wizard of Odds_, or_ The Brady Bunch_. Thanks.

Chapter 1: Coincidence

One fine morning, the host of _Jeopardy!_, Alex Trebek, was riding in the Brain Bus through southern California. Trebek was headed back to Culver City, where he would host yet another episode of _Jeopardy!_

Suddenly, the driver called back to Trebek, "Alex, does it feel like the bus is bumping along?"

Trebek hadn't paid much attention, but he did suddenly notice that the ride was unusually rough. "Yeah, I suppose you're right," Trebek said to the driver. "Pull over and let's see what the problem is." Right now, the Brain Bus was in a suburban neighborhood, and it pulled over into the Astroturf lawn of an all too familiar family, the Bradys!

Trebek and the driver got out of the Brain Bus to look at the wheels of the Brain Bus. "Oh, great, it looks like we've got a flat tire!" Trebek said, noticing that one of the front wheels was deflated. "We'll never make it to the studio in time. I'm going to have to get a ride," he continued.

"Why not ask the people in that house?" questioned the driver, pointing to the Brady house.

"Yeah, I'm sure they could probably give me a lift to the studio," said Trebek. Trebek walked up to the door, and he knocked. Then, the door opened, and Mr. Brady appeared at the door.

"Hello," Mr. Brady greeted.

"Hi," Trebek said. "My name is Alex Trebek. I'm sure you know who I am."

"Oh, I do. You're the host of _The Wizard of Odds_!" Mr. Brady said.

"Well…I was," Trebek said, sounding a little bit surprised, "but now I'm the host of _Jeopardy!_"

"Jeopardy? I thought Art Fleming was the host of that," said Mr. Brady.

"He was…way back in the old version of _Jeopardy!_" Trebek explained.

"But I always thought there was one version of _Jeopardy!_" Mr. Brady said.

Trebek groaned and sighed in frustration. "Never mind, it doesn't really matter. "Anyway, my driver and I were in the Brain Bus, and it's got a flat tire. I was wondering if you could give us a lift to the _Jeopardy!_ studio," Trebek said.

"Oh, certainly," Mr. Brady said. "I'll get Carol and the kids, and we'll be on our way."

"That's your family, I presume," said Trebek.

"Yep," Mr. Brady said. "Just get in the car, and we'll be there in just a moment."

"Thanks," Trebek said. He walked to the bus driver by the bus. "These nice people are going to give us a lift to the studio. I suppose we can just leave the bus here and worry about it later," said Trebek.

"Oh, great," said the driver. He and Trebek walked to the Brady's brown station wagon and got in the back seat. "So, do you know who this family is?" wondered the driver.

"Nope," Trebek said, "but the man that answered the door seemed like a nice, down-to-earth man. He also seemed a bit naïve."

"Well, at least we'll get to the studio," said the driver. Just then, all the Brady's came out of the house and headed for the wagon. "Good night above, is _that_ the family? There's so many people!" the driver said.

"I didn't figure that man had _that_ many kids," Trebek said. "I have a bad feeling we're all going to be crushed in this car," he continued.

"It seems as though they have a maid as well," commented the driver.

Then, the Bradys all squeezed into the car. All the kids were talking excitedly and loudly. "Quiet down, kids," Mr. Brady said. "I need to ask Mr. Trebek where to drop him and the driver off."

"Take us to Culver City," Trebek said.

"Culver City? That's not far from here," Mr. Brady said. "When we get there, just tell us what streets to take from there."

"No problem," Trebek said. Then, Mr. Brady backed the car out of the driveway, and then, they left for Culver City.

"Hey, are you really the host of _The Wizard of Odds_?" Peter asked.

"I was," Mr. Trebek said. "Now, I'm the host of _Jeopardy!_" Once the Bradys arrived in Culver City, Trebek and the driver told them further directions. Within a matter of minutes, everyone arrived at the _Jeopardy!_ studio. Trebek and the driver got out of the car. "Thank you, sir," Trebek said. "And for dropping me off here, I would like to offer you something in return."

"Okay," Mr. Brady said. "What is it?"

"How would you and your family like to be contestants on _Jeopardy!_?" Trebek offered.

The kids all yelled excitedly. "Well, I think that would be very nice, Mr. Trebek," Mr. Brady said. "I think we'll accept your offer."

"Great," Trebek said. "Now, we've only got three days of open positions, but we think you'll be able to fit in," he continued. "Come here tomorrow, on Monday, and we'll start the game. Come on Tuesday and Wednesday as well. Which three would you like to start off with?" Trebek asked.

The kids in the backseat yelled excitedly as loudly as ever. "Quiet!" Mr. Brady ordered. "Now, let's decide this in the 'Brady' fashion. Raise your hand if you would like to go first." All the kids raised their hands. Mr. Brady sighed. "This will be difficult, I'm afraid," he said to Trebek.

"Oh, that's all right," Trebek said. "I'll just pick for you. Let's have the three boys go first," he said. The boys cheered and whistled, while the girls remained sadly silent. "By the way, I didn't catch your name," Trebek said.

"I'm Mike Brady, and this is my wife, Carol," Mr. Brady said. "The boys are Greg, Peter, and Bobby. The girls are Marcia, Jan, and Cindy. Oh, and the maid is Alice."

"Nice family you have there, sir," Trebek said. "I'll see you all tomorrow." The Bradys drove off, leaving Trebek and the bus driver standing on the sidewalk.

"What do you think of them?" asked Trebek.

"A little bit strange and crazy," said the driver, "but they mean well."

"My thoughts exactly," said Trebek. The two of them walked off the sidewalk and into the set of _Jeopardy!_


	2. The Boys

Brady _Jeopardy!_

A/N: This is loosely based on Celebrity Jeopardy, but I don't intend to copy every gag that Saturday Night Live had, as I don't want to get in trouble, and also, it would be boring to read the same, exact gags that Saturday Night Live used. I have spiced it up a bit more. I do not own _Jeopardy!_, _Saturday Night Live_, _The Wizard of Odds_, or_ The Brady Bunch_. Thanks.

Chapter 2: The Boys

As planned, the Brady's showed up at the _Jeopardy!_ studio the next morning. Trebek called the boys forward to the set, and he told the rest of the Bradys to sit with the audience. Trebek explained the rules of _Jeopardy!_ to the boys, and he walked them through the process of the gameplay.

A few minutes later, the cameras were on the air, and _Jeopardy!_ began. "This…is Jeopardy!" Johnny Gilbert said. "Let's meet our contestants today. We've got three boys from the same family and same home. Contestant #1 is Greg Brady. Constestant #2 is Peter Brady. Contestant #3 is Bobby Brady. And now, here's the host of _Jeopardy!_, Alex Trebek!"

"Thank you, Johnny Gilbert," Trebek said. "And just as I thought we wouldn't be filming anymore editions of 'Celebrity Jeopardy', we've got three members of the Brady Bunch right here. Anyway, let's take a look at the categories. The first one is 'computers', the second one is 'foreign countries', the third one is 'popular automobiles', the fourth one is 'TV shows', the fifth one is 'inventors', and the last one is 'math problems'. Greg, we'll start with you."

"I choose 'math problems' for $200," he said.

"This is what 60 plus 60 equals," Trebek said. Greg buzzed in. "Greg?"

"What is 6060?" he said.

"Uh…no," Trebek said. Peter buzzed in. "Peter."

"What is 660?"

"No!" Trebek said. "What idiots," he muttered under his breath. Bobby buzzed in. "Yes, Bobby?"

"What is 120?" he said.

"Oh, finally!" Trebek said. "Someone got it right! Okay, Bobby now has $200!"

"Woo-hoo! I'm super-filthy-stinkin'-rich!" Bobby shouted. "I've got $200 big ones! Yeah, mama!"

"Uh huh…" Trebek said, sounding freaked out by Bobby's bizarre behavior. "Since you answered correctly, choose another category."

"I'll take 'inventors' for $1,000," Bobby said proudly.

"Answer," Trebek said. Then, there was an extremely loud ricochet sound, and then, the Daily Double image appeared on the screen. "DAILY DOUBLE!" Trebek announced loudly.

"AAGGHH! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! I'M SCARED!" Bobby shrieked. He ran from his podium and ran around in circles. The audience laughed hysterically at his reaction.

"Calm down, kid, it's just the Daily flippin' Double!" Trebek said. However, Bobby was nowhere in sight. He'd already run from the studio in fright. "Someone get security and find Bobby. We don't want his parents to get worried," Trebek said. Instantly, several security men spread throughout the area in search of Bobby. For a moment, Trebek was at a loss of words. "…Well…" he said, "…now that Bobby's gone, I guess we'll leave it up to Greg to answer the Daily Double."

"Sure," Greg said.

"Okay then, Trebek said, "How much would you like to wager? You can wager up to $2,000."

"$2,000 then, I suppose," Greg said.

"This inventor made the light bulb," said Trebek.

"Who is Thomas Swan?" Greg asked.

"Uh…no," Trebek said. "I think you're mixing up the names of the two inventors that made the light bulb. They would be Thomas Edison from America, and Joseph Swan from the United Kingdom. So…now you are $2,000 in debt."

"Aw, great!" moaned Greg. "I knew I should have listened to Dad when he told me about the value of a dollar! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay you back?"

"Pay me back?" Trebek questioned. "It's just a game, kid. You don't owe me any money."

"But a Brady never cuts corners," Greg said. "I _must_ pay you back, even if I have to sacrifice my life for it!"

"Oh, boy, not this again…" sighed Trebek. "Peter…why don't you choose a category?"

"I'll go with 'TV shows' for $600," Peter said.

"This TV show involves three boys and three girls. It is a blended family, and the introduction has all nine family members in a blue tile," Trebek said. Peter and Greg did not respond. "Oh, come on, now, the show is about you guys! It can't be that hard!" Trebek yelled. Then, a beeping noise sounded, which indicated that the time was up. Trebek sighed in frustration, "What is the Brady Bunch?"

"That's us," Greg said.

"Yes…I know…that was also the answer to the question. That is the TV show about your family," Trebek sighed.

Just then, two security guards walked up on stage carrying Bobby by his armpits. He squirmed around in a panicky manner. "Get me out of here now! I don't wanna be here anymore! Please, please, please!" begged Bobby. The security guards held Bobby in front of his podium, and they remained there for the rest of the show.

"Okay…" Trebek said. "Can my day get any stranger?"

Just then, the rest of the Bradys came down from the studio, and they got on the stage of _Jeopardy!_ Then, Greg, Peter, and Bobby joined them. "On three gang…one…two…three," Mr. Brady said. Then, music started playing. It was the music for "Time to Change". The Bradys suddenly broke out in song. They danced in a strange manner on the _Jeopardy!_ stage as they sung.

"Sha na na na, na na na na, sha na na na na!" sang all the Bradys.

Greg, Peter, and Bobby ran back behind their podiums and sang through the microphones, "Autumn turns to winter and then winter turns to spring, its not just a season to know its goes for everything. Clouds can turn to rain and then it just might snow. You gotta take lesson from mother nature and if you do you'll know!"

Greg, Peter, and Bobby ran from the podiums and joined the other Brady's on stage again. They all sang, "Sha na na na, na na na na, sha na na na na! Well its time to change, then its time to change. Move by the time come along for the ride, dont you see. When its time to change you've got to rearrange. Move your heart to what your gonna be. Sha na na na na na na sha na na na na na!"

Then, Marcia, Jan, and Cindy ran up to the board with all the televisions that displayed the categories and clues. They sang, "Day by day it's hard to see the changes you've been through. A little bit of living a little bit of growing all adds up to you. Every boys a man inside, a girls a women too. And if you wanna reach your destiny its what you've got to do!"

Then, Marcia, Jan, and Cindy joined the rest of the Bradys in the center of the stage. The group all sang, "Well its time to change when its time to change! Move by the time come along for the ride, don't you see? When its time to change you've got to rearrange. Move your heart to what you're gonna be! Sha na na na na na na na, sha na na na na na! Well its time to change when its time to change, you've got to rearrange! Move your heart to what you're gonna be! Sha na na na na na na na, sha na na na na!"

The Brady's bowed and left to sit back with the audience. Only Greg, Peter, and Bobby remained, and they walked back to their podiums. Trebek stood there with his jaw dropped wide open. He was speechless for a second. Then, he said, "Please, Lord, take me now!" Trebek stood there, and nothing happened. "Okay, somebody please shoot me!" Trebek stood there, and nothing happened. "Never mind…I suppose we'll just go to Final Jeopardy. And the category is baseball. Name a famous baseball player for the Atlanta Braves. Go," Trebek said.

Then, the _Jeopardy!_ "think music" played. Greg, and Peter were writing on their podium, while Bobby was still squirming to escape the guards that held him down. Then, the "think music" stopped, and Trebek went to see what the boys wrote.

"Okay, let's see what Bobby's got. You wrote…nothing. And you wagered…nothing," he said.

"Just get me out of here!" shouted Bobby.

"Let him go, men," Trebek said. "Game's about over anyway." The guards took Bobby away from his podium and led him to the audience so he could sit with the rest of the Bradys.

Then, Trebek went to see what Peter wrote. Peter had written "Mom always said, 'Don't play ball in the house'". "Okay…that's not a baseball player," Trebek said.

"I know. Mom told me not to play baseball in the house," Peter said.

"You're weird," Trebek said. Then, he walked over to Greg's podium. "Okay, Greg, let's see what you answered. The screen said "I owe Trebek $2,000. I'm angry at myself". "For the last time, no you don't!" shouted Trebek. "And you wagered…" Mr. Trebek started. He saw that Greg wagered -$2,000. "Your family has serious issues," Trebek commented. "Well, that's all the time we have on _Jeopardy!_ Since there's no clear-cut winner among the boys, we will the Brady girls play on _Jeopardy!_ I'm Alex Trebek, and this family is really beginning to annoy me! Good night!" Trebek said. Trebek walked off the stage, and then, Greg, Peter, and Bobby walked off the stage to greet the Bradys.

"You guys were great," Mrs. Brady said.

"Thanks," Peter said.

"Now, Greg, remember, you owe Mr. Trebek $2,000, and it's coming out of your pocket," Mr. Brady said.

"Aw man. I don't even have $2,000. What am I gonna do?" Greg sighed.

"We'll talk about it when we get home," Mr. Brady said. Then, the family left the studio.

It just so happened that Trebek overheard their conversation. He stood in the corner sighing and shaking his head. "When will they ever learn?" sighed Trebek.


	3. The Girls

Brady _Jeopardy!_

A/N: This is loosely based on Celebrity Jeopardy, but I don't intend to copy every gag that Saturday Night Live had, as I don't want to get in trouble, and also, it would be boring to read the same, exact gags that Saturday Night Live used. I have spiced it up a bit more. I do not own _Jeopardy!_, _Saturday Night Live_, _The Wizard of Odds_, or_ The Brady Bunch_. Thanks.

Chapter 3: The Girls

On Tuesday morning, the Bradys returned to the _Jeopardy!_ studio so that the girls could participate. They entered the studio in a single file line. Trebek groaned as he saw them. Johnny Gilbert happened to be standing nearby. "What's wrong, Alex?" he asked.

"It's the Bradys. They're back," groaned Trebek.

"Oh, you mean that family that did the singing yesterday? Who could forget?" Johnny said.

"Tell me about it," Trebek said.

Then, Greg stepped forward. "Uh…Mr. Trebek…I've got a check from my college education fund. I'm giving it to you to pay off my debt from yesterday," he said.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY MONEY!" roared Trebek. "IT IS JUST A GOT DAMNED GAME SHOW!" Trebek instantly reworded his sentence when he realized that the Bradys were shocked at his language. "I mean…uh…I told you that since this is just a game show, then you don't have to worry about paying me. End of discussion," Trebek said.

"But sir, I was still in debt," started Greg.

"Not another word!" Trebek said ominously. "I'll have security take you out if you bother me with that crap again!"

"Yes, sir," Greg said meekly.

"Now, girls, take your positions at the podiums and write your name," Trebek said. Marcia, Jan, and Cindy walked to the podiums and did just that. The Bradys went to sit with the audience.

A few minutes later, the show was on the air. "This…is _Jeopardy!_" announced Johnny Gilbert. "Today, our contestants are from the same family we had yesterday. Contestant #1 is Marcia Brady. Contestant #2 is Jan Brady. And Contestant #3 is Cindy Brady. And now, here's the host of _Jeopardy!_, Alex Trebek!"

"Hi, everyone, and welcome back to this week's round of _Jeopardy!_ Gosh, I can't wait until we get these Bradys out of here. Okie dokie, now the categories are 'music', 'cliques', 'members of the family', 'super stars', 'school', and lastly, 'history'. Marcia, we'll start with you," Trebek said.

"I'll choose skyewl for $800," she said.

"Uh…that's pronounced _school_," said Trebek.

"That's what I said, skyewl," Marcia said.

"Whatever," said Trebek. "Anyway, the answer is…" The message appeared on the screen, and Trebek read it. "You receive these for completing assignments," he said. Marcia buzzed in. "Marcia," Trebek said.

"What are grades?" she said.

"Correct," Trebek said. "Choose again."

"Skyewl for $1,000," she said.

"Will you please stop saying that?" Trebek grumbled.

"Saying what?" asked Marcia.

"Never mind," Trebek said. He then read the answer. "Cafeteria food is often regarded as being this type of quality," Trebek said.

Suddenly, Cindy buzzed in. "What is bad?" she said.

"Good. Cindy is in the lead with $1,000," said Trebek. "Cindy, choose a category and a dollar value."

"Thuper Thars for $200," Cindy said.

"What is with you people?" demanded Trebek. "Get rid of that lisp. That says 'super stars'!" Trebek said. He sighed. "Anyway, the answer is…" He waited for the answer to appear on the screen, and then, he read it. "This star played Tom Hagen in _The Godfather_," said Trebek. Jan started to ring in, but Marcia beat her to it. "Marcia?" Trebek said.

"Who is Robert Duvall?" she said.

"Correct!" declared Trebek.

"Hey, I was going to answer that!" Jan yelled.

"Tough luck," Trebek said. "If you want to answer, you'll have to buzz in faster."

"But I did reach for the buzzer. Why does Marcia get everything she wants?" she complained.

Trebek completely ignored her. "Let's go to music for $400," Trebek said. "This Christian singer, born in 1960, released an album called 'Age to Age' in 1982." All three girls did not respond. The beeping noise emitted, which indicated that the time was up. "Who is Amy Grant?" Trebek said. "Marcia, pick," he continued.

"Um…cliques for $1,000," she said.

Then, the loud ricochet noise sounded, and the words "Daily Double" appeared on the screen. "Daily Double!" Trebek said.

"Yea!" Marcia said.

"Okay, how much would you like to wager?" Trebek asked.

"$500," she said.

"Okay, this clique is stereotyped for wearing glasses taped together and having calculators and pocket protectors," Trebek said. Marcia buzzed in. "Marcia?" Trebek asked.

"What is a nerd?" she said.

"Correct!" Trebek said. "That's what Jan is," he continued, pointing at Jan, who had her head resting on the podium.

"Hey!" she snapped. "I am not a nerd!"

"You've got glasses taped together," Trebek pointed out.

"I don't need these stupid glasses!" Jan said, ripping them off and throwing them on the floor. "I'll show you," she said, starting to leave the podium. "Hey…where am I?" she asked. She spun around and fell backwards. That instantly knocked over her podium, which exploded and caught on fire. Jan got up and quickly ran around awkwardly looking for her glasses. Suddenly, she crunched on something thin and small. Sadly, it was her glasses. She bent down and cried.

"Not a nerd, huh?" Trebek joked. He walked over and lifted the podium back up. He took a fire extinguisher, which was conveniently located in his pocket, and he sprayed the podium. Then, he dropped it on the ground. "Anyway, it's now time for Final Jeopardy! The category is colors. And all you have to do is look at the screen and tell me what color is on the screen," Trebek said. "Go."

On the screens, a light green color appeared. The _Jeopardy!_ "think music" played. Cindy had her head down on her podium, but Jan and Marcia were writing. Then, the "think" music halted, and Trebek went to Marcia's podium to see what she wrote.

"Okay, let's see what you've got," said Trebek. "Light green" appeared on the screen. "Great," Trebek said. "And you wagered $1,800. Well done, you've got the money." Marcia smiled as Trebek went to Jan's podium. "Let's see what Jan put," he said. An illegible "green" appeared on the screen. "I'll get back to you," he said. He walked over to Cindy and tapped her on the head. She slowly woke up. "Did you answer the Final Jeopardy question?" he asked.

"Nope," Cindy said.

"Why not? Did you not know the answer?" he asked.

"No, I just fell asleep," Cindy said.

Trebek waved his hand in frustration and walked back to Jan. "Well, we were really looking for 'light green'," he said. Jan gasped. "So therefore, you lose points. How much did you wager?" Trebek asked. On the screen, "$25,000,000" appeared. "I'm sorry, Jan, but it looks like you're today's loser, and Marcia is today's winner!" The audience cheered.

"What?" Jan shouted. "This had to be bugged! Why does Marcia win everything, and why do I always lose? It's not fair! MARCIA, MARCIA, MAR-" she started.

"Shut up, Jan," Trebek said. "Anyway, that's all the time we've got on _Jeopardy!_ I'm Alex Trebek, and in a few minutes, I'm going to crush my head with a brick. Good night," he said.


	4. Mike, Carol, and Alice

Brady _Jeopardy!_

A/N: This is loosely based on Celebrity Jeopardy, but I don't intend to copy every gag that Saturday Night Live had, as I don't want to get in trouble, and also, it would be boring to read the same, exact gags that Saturday Night Live used. I have spiced it up a bit more. I do not own _Jeopardy!_, _Saturday Night Live_, _The Wizard of Odds_, or_ The Brady Bunch_. Thanks.

Chapter 4: Mike, Carol, and Alice

Wednesday was the next day, and it was decided that even though Marcia was the winner, they would give the adults a chance to play as well. Trebek was strongly in favor of the idea so that he could get rid of the Bradys as soon as possible.

At this moment, the Brady kids sat with the audience, while Mike, Carol, and Alice took their places at the podiums. Then, when the cameras were turned on, Johnny Gilbert said, "This…is Jeopardy! Today, we've got the final three members of the Brady Bunch on _Jeopardy!_ today. Contestant #1 is Mr. Mike Brady, an architect who designed his own home. Contestant #2 is Mrs. Carol Brady, a housewife. Finally, Contestant #3 is Alice Nelson, who is the Bradys' live-in maid. And now, here's the host of _Jeopardy!_, Alex Trebek!"

Alex Trebek walks onto the stage and has several large, noticeable gashes on his head. "Mr. Trebek, what happened to you?" Mr. Brady called from across the set.

"I was smashing my head with a brick," Trebek said. "Anyway, as Mr. Gilbert has said, we've got the last three members of the Brady Bunch with us today!" said Trebek. "Thank God," he whispered. "Mr. Brady, why don't you go first?" offered Trebek.

"But you haven't introduced the categories yet," Mr. Brady said.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot," Trebek said. Then, the categories appeared on the screens. "The first category is 'airplanes', the second category is 'housework', the third category is 'buildings', the fourth category is 'sewing', the fifth category is 'pets', and the last category is 'mops'. And as I said, Mike can go first."

"Okay, then, I'll chose 'buildings' for $200," Mr. Brady said.

"This is what Alex Trebek wants to jump off of," Trebek read. Mrs. Brady buzzed in. "Carol," Trebek said.

"What is a cliff?" Carol said.

"Nope, that's not right. Remember, look at the category, and it can sometimes serve as a clue," Trebek said. Then, Alice buzzed in. "Alice?" Mr. Trebek said.

"What is a kitchen table?" she said.

"Nope. It was a building," Trebek said. "All the answers in that category are building. You know what, since I just said that, I officially ban you all from selecting something from 'buildings'," said Trebek.

"I'll choose 'buildings' for $800," Mr. Brady said.

"Mike, what did I just say?" Trebek said sternly.

"I didn't hear. I was listening to my record player," Mr. Brady said.

"Your…_record player_?" Trebek said.

"Yeah," Mr. Brady said. He rolled out a record player on a stand to show that he had one with him.

"Audience, how many of you actually listen to a record player anymore?" Trebek turned and asked the audience. Nobody answered. "So not that it's any of my business, Mike, but why exactly are you listening to a record player?"

"Cause, it's what you listen to music with," Mr. Brady said.

"Um, we've got more modern ways of listening to music. Have you ever heard of a compact disk?" Trebek said.

"Uh…no, I don't think so," Mr. Brady said.

"Never mind, it's not important," Trebek said. "I'll just give the board to Carol," he said.

Carol gasped, "You mean you're actually _giving_ me the board?"

"Well…yeah…I suppose..." Trebek said.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Trebek!" Mrs. Brady said. She left her podium and ran up to the board. She began searching for a place to lift it off the ground.

"Uh, Mrs. Brady, what exactly are you doing?" Trebek said.

"I'm looking for a place to lift the board. You just said I could have it," she said.

"THAT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!" shouted Trebek. "Get back to your podium. I'll just let Alice have a turn."

"I'll select 'housework' for $200," Alice said.

"This is the kind of housework that involves taking a rag and brushing it across a surface to remove dust," Trebek said.

Alice buzzed in and said, "What is surfing?"

"Okay, that's it, get off the stage!" ordered Trebek. "I'm not even going to do Final Jeopardy, I've had it with you guys! You're so stupid and outdated it's not even funny!" The Bradys looked a bit upset when they left.

On the way back home, Mr. Brady said, "Don't worry, everyone. Mr. Trebek didn't mean what he said. We're not really stupid and outdated."

"Dad, I've heard people talking about this thing called the Internet," Jan said.

"The _what_? I've never heard of such a thing. Tell your friends that the Internet doesn't exist," Mr. Brady said. "Tell them that a Brady doesn't believe in things that don't exist."

"Okay, Daddy," Jan said.

"Does anyone want to watch Alice mop the kitchen floor?" Mrs. Brady asked. All the kids shouted happily in excitement. Everyone laughed as they drove back home.

Meanwhile, back at the _Jeopardy!_ set, Trebek and Gilbert began a conversation. Trebek looked much more relieved and satisfied. "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad that we won't have to deal with the Brady Bunch anymore," he said.

"Hey, Alex, don't you have the feeling you forgot something?" Gilbert said.

"You know, I think we did," Trebek said. "Oh well, it's probably not important."

Meanwhile, inside the Brady house, Trebek's Brain Bus is in the living room. The Bradys spray painted flowers and peace signs all over it. They made it look more 70s. "When Trebek comes back to get his Brain Bus, I'm sure he'll be much happier with us when he sees how we've fancied it for him," Greg said. The other Bradys agreed, and they kept adding 70s decorations to Trebek's Brain Bus.


End file.
